Legacy: The Circle of Love and Life
Ana Backhaus
This story reflects my profound relationship with my mother, a confrontation with an unexpected reality, and a journey of self-discovery. It unfolded after COVID delayed the diagnosis of an aggressive cancer that took her life too soon.
It is a convergence of past and present, where uncertainty overshadowed my role as a daughter. I wanted to help, yet felt lost in how to support her. In a post-pandemic world, my mom’s diagnosis arrived, and none of us knew how to navigate this altered reality. I searched for light, but shadows surrounded me.
Photographing my mom became my escape—a way to feel close while creating enough distance to remain strong. It helped me seek perspective amid pain and keep her close to my heart. The act of photographing was therapeutic, offering an illusion of purpose and a distraction from my deep sense of helplessness.
As her caregiver, my mom tried to shield everyone from her pain, wanting my dad to remain her main support for as long as she could endure it. This fragile sense of normality became her refuge.
This narrative speaks to the fleeting nature of time. It is about holding onto hope while confronting the reality of her absence. Losing her felt like losing a part of myself.
Through my camera, I navigated grief in a world that kept moving forward while mine fell apart. I fought to find light in the darkness and, in doing so, discovered a new resilience. This is a journey of loss and renewal—one that taught me how to live in ways I never knew before, rediscovering a new version of myself, rooted in love, and guided back toward the light.
It is a circle—the Circle of Love and Life.
A Self Portrait of Me and My MotherPOS AB 713 2$800
My Mother Feeling Unwell, Resting in the Bedroom that Used to be MinePOS AB 713 3$800
At the Beginning of her Battle Against CancerPOS AB 713 4$800
My Mother’s Tears - Fear of the UnknownPOS AB 713 5$800
A Self-Portrait with my Parents on their 50th Wedding AnniversaryPOS AB 713 6$800
Grandmother and my Son Playing TogetherPOS AB 713 7$800
Reflection of my Mom, Reflecting on her JourneyPOS AB 713 8$800
Choosing a Wig While Holding a Photograph of us TogetherPOS AB 713 9$800
Looking at Her Wig Before Trying it OnPOS AB 713 10$800
Getting Dressed and Visibly FrailPOS AB 713 11$800
My Mom’s Hand with her Wedding Ring while She was RestingPOS AB 713 12$800
The Empty Window She Looked Out of in Search of HopePOS AB 713 13$800
Reality Struck Me like a Car Hitting MePOS AB 713 14$800
The Tears of Grief POS AB 713 15$800
My Shattered LifePOS AB 713 16$800
Losing MyselfPOS AB 713 17$800
I’m on Pause but the World Carries OnPOS AB 713 18$800
When the Light Takes its Own SpacePOS AB 713 19$800
The Next GenerationPOS AB 713 20$800
The LegacyPOS AB 713 21$800